Rough Days, but Praise God for His Mercies

Rough days but Praise God for his mercies!!!!!!

 

This is about the 3^rd week here.  I want to explain to you a little about what we are going through being away from the comforts of our home and our country.  We are writing this to hopefully encourage you in your walk with the Lord.  We both understand and know what it takes to follow the path laid out before us.  We want you to know that without Faith, Hope and Love for others we cannot accomplish the task set before us.  It has been a small journey for us here, but one that has impacted our life forever culturally and spiritually.  It seems it is during the hard times we draw closer to the Lord, and we realize that he is all we need in every moment of our life.  I want to first share with you that yes, the Lord has opened up many doors for us to come here to Nicaragua and serve the the people and the heart of missions.  First Steve and I have not stopped praying for this time of our life, we knew it would be difficult at times but we took this leap of faith (for the sake of the call).

I want to share all of what we have gone through, not just the things that seem happy all the time.  Real life means that at times we will go through struggles and heart aches.  One thing that I have learned is that when you feel the loneliness and emptiness, Jesus is always waiting right there with comfort and word of encouragement, found in the word of God.  This particular day started on a Saturday, I woke up just feeling sad and alone.  I tried to say I can do this and I know that you oh Lord are my shield and a strong tower, but my emotions definitely got the best of me this day.  It was 95 this Saturday and I already was feeling hot and agitated, this combination makes for a disaster of a person. (Poor Steve)  We had about 6 kids at the house from around 3-6, I knew if I didn’t spend time in the Lord more than normal I would maybe crawl in my bed and not come out all day.  So I prayed and asked the Lord for supernatural help.  I felt a bit on edge but trying to remember that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.  Well the kids came and we got through that day, it blessed them and we were able to share our time and our home with them.  When they left I went back into my bedroom and I cried for 2 hours.  I was feeling sad, alone and like I had no one expect my honey, but Steve was just trying to deal with the heat and adjustment of the culture.  One thing I have learned, the life of a missionary who goes out of the country is not an easy life.  It is an adjustment from your normal life totally and completely.  The food isn’t bad at all here, but it is different than the states, I love my Italian meals and Chinese food. Lol

The culture isn’t bad either, but it also is an adjustment, we don’t fully speak the language and on most days only understand about 60-70% percent of what a person is saying to us.  We do not have the amenities of home, a washing machine, dishwasher, hot water or beautiful colors everywhere for my eyes to enjoy.  It is moments like this where you either cry every day or stay in your bedroom, or you get up and press on as the bible says.  I will bring you to Sunday as Praise God Saturday is over.  Sunday again was just a rough day, I woke up saying I can do this, I prayed and cried so much I was wet from crying, not from sweating, I read my bible, I did everything a person can do to push past my feelings and emotions. I decided again to come out of the room and try to face the day set before me; I finally came out around 12 to tell Steve that I can’t do it. I am tired, my body hurts, its hot here and I don’t know this place or the language and culture and I miss my kids terribly.  I told Steve I was going back in the bedroom and that I was going to pray until there was a breakthrough.  I am telling you that pray is the strength that the Holy Spirit gives you when all else around you looks dark, when your situation around is saying give up, when your heart and flesh fail you, but the word of God and the power of prayer will never fail you.  I went in my room; I cried and cried out to the Lord.  Oh Lord, help me to look beyond myself and my feelings, please bring me to that place where you wrap me in your arms and I learn to accept all that you have for me.  I read my bible and listened to Patricia Shier; I prayed more and listened to Christian music for 3 hours.  My most precious friend always says to me Praise and be raised, complain and remain.  Well I know me and at times I can complain about what color the sky is today.  So I need to be aware about complaining in my life as we all should.  Entering the throne room of love, comfort and grace can happen anywhere you are seeking for comfort from the only one who can truly comfort us. Jesus Christ, the great I am, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.  I love that he has gone before me, that he has paved the way for me.  I love that he is never too busy for me, that I don’t have to wait for his presence or mercy because they are right there for me at all times, all I have to do is cry out.  I want you to know that around 4 o’clock in the late afternoon I opened the door to go out of that bedroom, the glory of the Lord was all around me.  You could see the countenance of the never ending mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ on my face.  I felt his presence and his comfort in that moment, a lot of times we must push through, giving up is not an option no matter you feel  or what the situation around you looks like.  I was once told about a submarine and how the deeper the submarine goes the greater must be its resistance to pressure,  Gods spirit pressurizes the chambers of our heart, so the deeper we go in him, the more we must seek him for our hearts to be pressurized perfectly, for the depth we are about to face.  I love this country, I love Gods people, I love this life I have been given.  I cannot thank the Lord enough for moments like this, that teach me more not to rely on myself or the situations around and that I must look to trust and obey, because to be honest there is no other way, to be Happy in this life than to trust the Lord completely and not lean upon your feelings or understanding.  It is all about faith, hope and the love of our Father in Heaven.  Thank you for allowing us to share, thank you for following us and praying for us.  In this moment things are great, we see the Lord working in our life and in the Life’s of those we come in contact with every day.  Oh yeah, one more thing, the Lord is giving me a glimpse of home, Kristine will be coming here to visit in just 20 short days.  We love you all and we are honored to be serving the Lord in the country of Nicaragua.